It hurts to be dumped doesn’t it? It even sounds bad.
Want to know a secret? You actually have an unfair advantage. Being dumped actually makes it easier to dislike your partner. And when you dislike your partner, moving on and recovering from the relationship is that much easier because you don’t feel like you’re losing something that great and you can open yourself up to liking someone else. It’s like losing that old phone you didn’t want anyways. Now you’re free, and guilt-free to upgrade.
Sure, you still might think the other person is great or there’s something wrong with you. That’s very natural. But like all things in life, there are different ways to interpret something.
One way is thinking you’re not good enough for this person, someone who you used to think had good judgement. Since you admire and want to please this person, their opinion counts a lot. What if I told you that is very subjective?
Someone once told me, “no one is perfect, unless you fall in love with them.” It’s very sweet but if you think about it, you only believe the person is perfect right now because you’re in love with them.
The other way to interpret this is that you are a good person and the other person is not. I bet you can think of a few reasons why your ex isn’t perfect.
The another reason you might feel bad is because you felt like you lost. You know what’s funny? When one person is dumped and then works to get the other person back just to dump them. It’s pretty silly. Sometimes it hurts that much that this actually make sense. It doesn’t. In the end, you have to think – is it worth the effort? Wouldn’t you rather spend your time on something productive like using that motivation improve yourself and dating someone amazing? Isn’t that a better way to show them anyways?
Okay, but what if you want to clear the air? Maybe you made a mistake and if you got a second chance it could all work out? It could. Sometimes what we think makes us happy doesn’t really make us happy once we get it. Prospect theory says we value what is lost more than what is gained. Having $1 taken away from us hurts more than the joy of getting $1. So it’s very natural you feel bad and want to get what you loss back.
I know it’s hard to believe but you probably would not have lasted forever anyways. Statistically speaking of course.
So stop feeling heartbroken, hit the gym, talk with your friends (if you don’t have any subscribe to this site and you can talk to people here), and stop thinking your partner is so amazing. Everything happens for a reason. Time for you to level up.