You’d think it’d be easy
Why does everyone make you out to be the bad one? You’re the rational one. You’re too young. You don’t feel the same about the person anymore. You are in love with someone else. You see no future.
Why is it so wrong to make a executive decision which will save everyone a lot of time and pain later on? You know you’re doing the right thing.
It’s funny you’d think if you were the person ending the relationship, you wouldn’t feel so bad but you do. That’s because people are social and emotional beings that are comprised of memories, associations, and attachments. It ties into our fundamental identity. Maybe that’s why choosing to leave someone is such a hard thing to do. In fact, some might even say it is “It’s the hardest thing I’ll ever have to do.”
If your ex did something wrong and you’ve determined they’re a bad person, they are easier to walk away from. However, even these breakups are hard is because not only have you grown attached to your partner but also you’ve invested a lot into it. Even worse is if you broke up amicably, meaning you still think the person is really good but just not suitable for you. Good things are not easy to walk away from.
Because of these reasons, “I’m going to hate you ’til I forget you” is a great strategy. In fact, this is what generally happens. That’s why remaining friends, especially right after a breakup can be devastating.
Most couples have a overly favourable opinion of their partners during the relationship and that same subjectively is reversed when they split. Although sad, this is actually a good thing for recovery.